While it is true that there is no single definition or correct method of raising children, a few parenting tips could go a long way in ensuring the happiness of your child. Let’s take a look at 10 good parenting tips that Sadhguru has for us on raising kids.
盡管“良好的家庭教育”并沒有單一的定義也沒有絕對正確的方法,但一些養育兒女的小貼士可能很有幫助并給孩子的幸福帶來保障。讓我們看一看Sadhguru(薩古魯)在養育孩子方面給我們提出的十條建議。
Sadhguru: Parenting involves a certain amount of discretion. There is no one standard rule for all children. Different children may need different levels of attention, expression of love, and toughness. Suppose I was standing in a coconut garden and you ask me, “How much water per plant?” I’d say, “At least 50 liters per plant.” When you go home, if you give 50 liters to your rose plant, it will die. You must see what kind of plant you have in your house and what it needs.
Sadhguru(薩古魯):養育兒女需要“因材施教”。對待所有的孩子并沒有統一的準則,不同的孩子可能需要不同的關注、管教和愛的表達。假設我正站在一個椰子園中,你問我,“每棵樹澆多少水?”我會說,“每棵至少50升。”如果你回到家中給你的玫瑰也澆50升的水,它一定會死去。你必須明白你的房子里種著什么樣的植物以及它需要什么。
#1 Recognize The Privilege
養育孩子是一種特權
It is a privilege that this child – this bundle of joy – has come through you and arrived in your house. Children are not your property; they do not belong to you. Just see how to enjoy, nurture, and support them. Don’t try to make them an investment for your future.
當你的孩子——洋溢著歡樂的生命——借由你的身體來到你的家庭時,這實則是一種特權。孩子不是你的所有物,他不屬于你。你只用明白怎么養育、關愛和支持他。不要試圖使孩子成為你的未來的一種投資。
#2 Let Them Be
讓孩子做自己
Let them become whatever they have to become. Don’t try to mold them according to your understanding of life. Your child need not do what you did in your life. Your child should do something that you did not even dare to think in your life. Only then will the world progress.
讓孩子成為他們要成為的人,不要根據你對生活的理解來塑造他們。你的孩子不需要做你在你的生命中所做的事,他們應該做一些你連想都不敢想的事,只有這樣,世界才會進步。
#3 Give Them ‘True’ Love
真正的愛
People misunderstand that loving their children is to cater to whatever they ask for. If you get them everything they ask for, it is stupidity, isn’t it? When you are loving, you can do just whatever is needed. When you truly love someone, you are willing to be unpopular and still do what is best for them.
人們誤以為,愛自己的孩子就是迎合他們所有的需求。如果你對他們百依百順,這不是很愚蠢嗎?當你真正有愛時,你會做需要做的事。當你真正愛一個人時,你寧愿違背他們的心愿也要做對他們最有益的事。
#4 Don’t Rush Them Into Growing Up
不要催促孩子成長
It is very important a child remains a child; there is no hurry to make him into an adult because you can’t reverse it later. When he is a child and he behaves like a child, it’s wonderful. When he becomes an adult and behaves like a child, that’s bad. There is no hurry for a child to become an adult.
讓孩子保留孩子的天性很重要;不要急于讓他們成年,因為這是不可逆的。當他是個孩子,行為舉止如同孩子時,這是極好的。當他是個成人,行為舉止卻如同孩子時,這就糟糕了。所以,不必急于讓孩子步入成年。
#5 Make It A Time To Learn, Not To Teach
是你去學習的時候,而不是教的時候
What do you know about life to teach your children? A few survival tricks are the only things you can teach. Please compare yourself with your child and see who is capable of more joy? Your child, isn’t it? If he knows more joy than you, who is better qualified to be a consultant about life, you or him?
教你的孩子?你對生命又了解多少呢?你能夠教的無非是一些生存的技巧。和你的孩子比一比,是誰的歡樂多一些?是你的孩子,對不對?如果他對歡樂懂得多一些,那么誰更有資質來做生命的“顧問”呢?你還是他?
When a child comes, it’s time to learn, not teach. When a child comes, unknowingly you laugh, play, sing, crawl under the sofa, and do all those things that you had forgotten to do. So it is time to learn about life.
當一個孩子降生時,你學習的時候就到了,而不是教的時候到了。當孩子來到你的生命中,你無意中開始大笑、玩耍、甚至趴在沙發下,做一些你久已忘卻的事,因而這正是了解生命的時候。
#6 Nurture Their Natural Spirituality
孩子天生就有靈性
Children are very close to a spiritual possibility if only they are not meddled with. Generally, either the parents, teachers, society, television – somebody or the other meddles with them too much. Create an atmosphere where this meddling is minimized and a child is encouraged to grow into his intelligence rather than into your identity of religion. The child will become naturally spiritual without even knowing the word spirituality.
孩子是最接近靈性存在的,只要他們不被干預。一般來說,無論是父母、老師、社會、電視還是其它都在過多地干預他們。創造一種將這種干預最小化的氛圍,鼓勵孩子去發展自己的智慧而不是認同于你的宗教。那么無需知道“靈性”這個詞,你的孩子就會變得很有靈性。
#7 Provide A Supportive And Loving Atmosphere
創造一個積極并充滿愛的氛圍
If you set an example of fear and anxiety, how can you expect your children to live in joy? They will also learn the same thing. The best thing you can do is to create a joyous and loving atmosphere.
如果你樹立了一個恐懼和焦慮的榜樣,你又怎能期許你的孩子活得快樂呢?他們也會習得同樣的習慣。你最應該做的就是創造一個充滿愛和愉悅的氛圍。
#8 Maintain A Friendly Relationship
維持友誼
Stop imposing yourself on the child and create a strong friendship rather than being a boss. Don’t sit on a pedestal and tell the child what she should do. Place yourself below the child so that it’s easy for them to talk to you.
不要對孩子咄咄逼人,建立親密的友誼而不是對他頤指氣使。不要高高在上地告訴你的孩子應該做什么。放下你的架子,這樣孩子就會樂于和你談心。
#9 Avoid Seeking Respect
不要渴望尊重
Love is what you seek with your children, isn’t it? But many parents say, “You must respect me.” Except that you came a few years early, are bigger in body, and you know a few survival tricks, in what way are you a better life than him?
你從孩子身上尋求的應該是愛,不是嗎?但是很多父母說,“你必須尊重我。”除了你比他早出生,身體比他高大,比他懂得生存之道,在哪些方面你的生命比他好呢?
#10 Make Yourself Truly Attractive
讓自己真正有吸引力
A child is influenced by so many things – the TV, neighbors, teachers, school, and a million other things. He will go the way of whatever he finds most attractive. As a parent, you have to make yourself in a way that the most attractive thing he finds is to be with the parents. If you are a joyous, intelligent, and wonderful person, he won’t seek company anywhere else. For anything, he will come and ask you.
孩子會受到很多東西的影響——電視、鄰居、老師、學校還有眾多其它東西。他會傾向于他覺得最有趣的東西。作為父母,你必須讓自己具有吸引力,讓孩子覺得和父母在一起是最有趣的。如果你是一個喜悅、明智的好父母,他就不會在別處尋找陪伴了。無論什么事,他都會來和你商量。
If you are genuinely interested in giving your children a good upbringing, you should first transform yourself into a peaceful and loving human being.
如果你真的想要給孩子一個良好的家庭教育,首先你應該把自己轉變成一個平和、有愛的人。